Welcome!

Wassup y'all,

First off, I want to say thank you for clicking this link and being curious about what I got going on, wondering what the hell is this page, and most importantly wondering "what the fuck is a sadboyfreee?". We will get into the name at another time for sure. I also understand if you clicked this link and saw this long ass essay and said "I'm good off this" because I be doing the same shit. All that to say WELCOME! Welcome to my blog/website/workspace if you will. I spoke to my girlfriend about my idea of creating a website to blog and she said "That's cool…What are you trying to get out of it though?" She always ask the good and difficult questions but I gave her my nonchalant answer of "I don't know, just want to post my thoughts and write about anything that I'm feeling and just share it I guess…post my music on it too." After I said that I started to really question myself. Why do this? What am I trying to get out of it? And why now?

I took the next few days to really just ask myself the why? Apart of me felt like I was slowly but surely moving further and further away from my passion and what brings me joy which was creating and writing songs. I started writing back in High school after listening to J.Cole's "Friday Night Lights" which may be funny to some because people would always say I look like him (I never saw it though). But there was something about how that mixtape made me feel and how it was like J.Cole was living and experiencing the same things in life that I was coming up in the Bronx. Ever since then I just wanted to make songs being vulnerable, authentic, and powerful. Through the years I kept writing and writing, recording in my dorm (shoutout to my guy Malik!) then when I started making little money I would save up and go to recording studios. Shoutout to Direckt and Sha!

Now back to the moving further and further from music and creating. It has really everything to do with myself internally, mentally. Whether it was my image, my music not really resonating, HATING how I looked taking pictures and shooting music videos (you can probably find a few them on Youtube if you search), and even when I did a few open mics performing. I would go home and feel like damn I don't know if I'm good enough. I probably quit making music every 4-6 months and you can ask anyone close to me. One thing I always had when I felt like I'm done with this was my friends like Eric, Makai, Keith and my late friend Marlon (there's def a few more of you) who randomly would either send me a song of mine, or ask me if I'm making more music, or call me and tell me how fire a demo I would send them is. Even though I had this through the years, I still felt like "this might not be meant to be" Honestly at this point of my life almost being 30 (Damn! *Kevin Hart voice*) Looking back I wasn't confident, comfortable with myself, and didn't believe in the hours and hard work it took to write and make the songs as I should. I also wasn't truly invested working hard enough. I was a victim of comparing myself to others which isn't valid. It took away from the joy, the process and the freedom.

I want to take that back for my younger self who dreamed big. I didn't have much at all coming up, I learned mostly everything on the fly and now I'm at a point where I don't care about what others think, or trying to seek validation, or trying to fit in this mold of what an artist or creator should be in this climate we in where people are truly losing themselves. This page will be about authenticity. This is where I will blog about random thoughts, experiences, and things going on with myself and maybe things I see or sharing things about my interests just because writing was always easier than speaking, for me. I want to move away from the social media, large algorithm platform and have my own platform. Even if I'm posting and writing blogs/letters to an empty room, I'm going to share it all because why not? I will be posting some demos, some finished songs, eventually posting my projects here if anyone is interested in listening. I'm also going to curate some playlists or at least try to. For all my creator friends, I invite you to reach out if you feel like you want to get something off your chest and want to share something you're working on, I will post it on this page. This year so far has been so hard but I've also had some clarity and peace in myself. This is all from me, not chatgpt. Welcome to my page and thank you for making it to the end. Stay tuned for more. Lastly, Go Knicks! Love!